As TTP nears, I’d like to write more personally about 2 Timothy over the next few weeks. 2 Timothy is a letter that contains the final heartfelt truths and encouragements of a senior worker  to a young preacher. I especially included the adjective final, to emphasize that Paul knew his end would be coming soon after he wrote (2 Tim 4:6); and for this matter, like the last words of a dying father to his son, these are the vital qualities in which Timothy must excel. When time is of the essence, every word is critical; none is wasted.

With this in mind, as I read 2 Timothy, I feel his words are most precious as I also prepare to be a preacher. What are the essential qualities I must cultivate? The Holy Spirit convicts me in so many areas. May these reflections encourage me for the journey to come, and for anyone else called to full-time ministry.

I want to start by writing about God’s calling.

“…an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God…” (2 Tim 1:1)

“…who has saved us and called us with a  holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began.” (2 Tim 1:8)

For those who do not know why I applied and enrolled in TTP, in short, when I was a senior in college, I had a prayer that changed my life. About ten minutes into what seemed like any other prayer, I suddenly felt the power of the Holy Spirit move me mightily, churning within my own spirit. I was moved so strongly that I was suddenly weeping with all my might, to the point that I could not even speak in tongues. A very clear thought entered my mind, “Serve me as Preacher! Serve me as a preacher!” In my spirit I cried, “It can’t be me! It can’t be me!” To my own understanding, I didn’t know why I would be called. I felt so sinful!  I felt so unworthy and unqualified. Over the next five to ten minutes these thoughts wrestled within me. Meanwhile a floating consciousness that. this. was. actually.  happening. also overwhelmed me. I was full of tears, and I kept feeling the love of God moving and jarring within me, until I my heart finally surrendered said “OK God. I will serve you.” Suddenly the love of God filled within my spirit and eventually I could pray again. That was the first calling. March 19,2004. Two years later, I received another calling (January 8, 2006), and eight months later eventually a third (August 12, 2006) that made it absolutely clear I needed to surrender my life to God and apply for TTP.

I understand that this doesn’t happen to many members. But I’d like to vehemently remind myself that even though it is rare and special, it doesn’t mean I can boast. It is God’s calling. A holy calling. Not according to our works, for surely I often fall short of such a glorious calling. Rather, it is a calling out of grace, out of His own beautiful purpose, so high and unfathomable that many times we cannot understand it. It extends the very boundaries of time. (Aside: This verse also speaks of all who are baptized and in Christ too. It is also a holy calling and doesn’t just apply to God’s workers. A TJC member’s calling and salvation is rare, glorious, and beautiful too!)

I remember the months that followed the first calling were especially emotional since my worldview drastically changed. Among the books to be read before NYTS was Jeremiah, and I teared and wept as I read its verses. Passages like:

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”
Then said I: “ Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I cannot speak, for I am a youth.”
But the LORD said to me: “ Do not say, ‘I am a youth,’ For you shall go to all to whom I send you, And whatever I command you, you shall speak. (Jer 1:5-8)

Sometimes the feeling became too incredible. Of all the people in the world, why was I chosen to be a mouthpiece for God? And then comes the feeling tiny Psalm 8 sensation, “What is man that You are mindful of him, And the son of man that You visit him?” Why? Yes, why? Why is God so personal for someone so small like me? I’m so insignificant, yet apparently, so significant.

Eventually, I realized that question may never get answered, but I am to aspire to be worthy of it.

So tonight, I’d like to remind myself again that this is a holy calling. Holy means set apart. Holy means pure and spotless. My goodness, I have to work on holiness. I must overcome the world, for I cannot serve two masters.

At the same time, it’s a reminder that God chooses his workers. It’s God’s calling. Not a self-calling or the church’s calling or the parents’ urging or the wife’s insistence. It’s God’s calling. God guides His church. Moreover, like Paul recognizes, it’s a calling according to God’s will. Not one’s own will or human will; but God’s will. Sometimes people lose their faith because of so-called “church politics” and such. Rather than look at men, we need to fix our eyes on God. May God keep me and not let this happen, but if I were to one day disqualify myself, God will naturally remove me from the ministry. We need not to worry that it appears as if it’s humans making church decisions, that church is merely a human organization.  Rest in the thought that Jesus is the head of the Church. He searches the hearts of men. He knows His church (Rev 2 & 3). He has His plan. He has His timing.

After the first calling, many doubts would creep into my mind. Kind of like Jeremiah’s first response. I lack of this, I lack of that… why this, why that… what about this, what about that? Sometimes I still have self-doubt. But, when that occurs that means I haven’t fully internalized that this calling indeed is God’s. In truth, it means I’m relying and focusing too much on myself and not on the awesome power of God. I must have faith that if God has called me to it, He’ll see me through it.  I am only his vessel.

And that’s what I’ll write about next time.

Nowadays, we don’t kill our own chickens anymore. My grandma used to chop off the head, drain the blood, and plucked its feathers and such. But times have changed. We go to the supermarket and buy it from the meat section, or order a ten piece from KFC. Being so removed from chicken deaths, when we mindlessly down another drumstick, it’s quite easy to forget that it once was part of something living, breathing, and … gobbling. It’s only when we’re reminded of that fact, that we appreciate it more. This is the value of life. And this reminds me of so many tangential ideas: Christ’s sacrifice, abortion…. Such is the power of chicken talk.

“…casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” (1 Pet 5:7)

This is a popular verse encouraging us to pray and entrust everything to God. Every burden that weighs on our minds, every ailment that eats at us, every setback that frustrates us–we ought to cast all of those upon God–”for He cares for you.” Our high and almighty God can also be so small and so low so as to listen to our problems and concerns. He understands and cares.

We can also gain a deeper appreciation for this verse when we look into the context of this exhortation. Peter speaks a lot about submission in his first epistle: citizens ought to submit to governments (1 Pet 2:13-17), servants ought submit to masters (1 Pet 2:18-25), wives ought to submit to husbands (1 Pet 3:1-6), and youths ought to submit to elders (1 Pet 5:5). Apostle Peter not only stresses the importance of submission, but also the different circumstances of who ought to submit to whom. Submission then isn’t weakness, but a precious sight in the eyes of God (cf 1 Pet 3:4).

With the final pairing–for youths to submit to elders–Peter encourages youths to then “cast all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” (1 Pet 5:7). It is with this notion that this popular verse was written. Apostle Peter understands how tough it can be!

Indeed, among the many attributes we need to cultivate as servants of God, one of the hardest to learn is how to be submissive. As youth, in some circumstances, we may not fully understand why our elders do things the way they do. We may not agree with their thinking, with their decisions, or with their methods. We sometimes think we have better and fresher ideas to prosper the Holy work. So sometimes, our ideas and thinking may clash with the older generation of believers. But it is at this time, that we as youths need to learn the discipline of submission and yielding. If there still remains anguish and frustration in our hearts, then we quietly bring those cares and worries before God, “for He cares for you.” Rather than fiercely insisting on our opinions or campaigning for the merits of our thought pattern, God desires that we learn a heart of obedience and submission. Perhaps, indeed we may have a better idea, that was prayerfully derived, but have we considered maybe it just isn’t God’s timing yet?

It is learning to humbly yield to our elders that we show that we also submit to God and respect the authority the Holy Spirit has given to them. It is in submitting to those that can be seen that demonstrates that we indeed also submit to God who cannot be seen. Of course in matters of errors in doctrine and salvation, we should not submit, just like we shouldn’t heed any laws that conflict with our faith. However in matters of style and method, we can all learn to have a little more of the heart of Christ, to submit to God and to one another, for it was in humility, submission, and obedience that Christ was–and we shall be–ultimately exalted (cf Phil 2:3-11, 1 Pet 5:6, Eph 5:21). Until then, let us cast all our cares upon Him, for He cares for you.

• I went from being single to being married.
• I lived at home my parents and now make a home with my wife.
• I was comfortably employed and intentionally became a student.
• That is to say, I had a regular income and now do not.
• I lived in the US (West) and now live in Taiwan (East).
• I spoke/wrote in English and now barely get by with Chinese.
• I closed the secular chapter of my life, and begin a life in ministry.
• On a lighter note, I flew enough this year to qualify now as a AA Gold Elite member.

Transitional periods are often rough. With such an eventful year, of course there were moments of sorrow and nostalgia in between the excitement and newness. But now looking back, my heart is full of thanksgiving–my steps are ordered and I know whom I have believed. 2010 will be another year of transition as I move back to the US and become a TTP student, but I already know the Lord will provide. It may not be my time nor my way, but the Lord will provide, just like He did in 2009 and my entire life. I hope that my life and servitude can be in some way worthy of His calling.

“Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.” (Ecc 4:9)

#5. Productivity Boost

When you set out to do something, it is easy to get discouraged. When you’re feeling lazy, it’s easy to procrastinate. When you’re feeling reluctance, it’s easy to give up at the first encounter of difficulty.

However, one of the blessing of marriage is that you no longer work alone, but you automatically do things together and help one another. That already in itself reduces discouragement, laziness, or reluctance in doing good things. It’s always a mindset boost when can work with a partner versus working alone. But even if those sentiments do creep in, your spouse’s presence and enthusiasm can help you out of the funk.

Yesterday we started cleaning up the E1 classroom to paint it. Then we’ll reorganize everything and throw out any junk. This would have been an daunting and overbearing task for one person. I know I personally wouldn’t want to tackle this alone. In fact, I think one of my many weaknesses is lack of perserverance and diligence. But thank and praise God, “two are better than one.” We were able to get so much done (and plan to get a lot more done this week).

The prospect of being able accomplish so much more together is a great blessing to have for the rest of our lives. This is the blessing of marriage.