I remember when I started working, I stumbled upon this article and it really resonated with me. I guess I found comfort in that I’m not alone.
I just want to point out that reticence does not equate to being anti-social. Reticence also doesn’t mean we don’t like you or secretly hate you and that when we do talk to you we are pretending to be nice. Don’t worry. We genuinely like you. At least I don’t think I have a secret agenda against anyone.
We just we don’t talk that much. That’s all.
Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially “on,” we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn’t antisocial. It isn’t a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating.
I think the key characteristic is that people energize extroverts. People enervate introverts, and in doing so we need some quiet time to recharge. (I think the only exception is that close friends that go waaaay back can always seem to energize us).
From a very biased point of view–hehe–I think we introverts are the most balanced of people. We can jell with the crowd when we want, and can keep our own company otherwise. And I think we’re more likely to think before we speak ;).